when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
