dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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