Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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