Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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