Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
