Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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