i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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