Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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