5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
