I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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