Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
