THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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