We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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