I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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