Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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