we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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