This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
only if we run a train.
done.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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