Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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