Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize