Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I believe in your delicious
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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