yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
