quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Someone came in the potted fern
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize