She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
