i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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