Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
