The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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