matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
