Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
