Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i have two assholes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
