No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
