ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
