We're like a lot better than the average bears
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it glows. i had to have it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
