take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
