I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
