My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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