Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
