My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
that is very illegal...i love you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
