one might say we're banned from that church
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize