I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
