omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
