you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
