I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
