i jhust puked up my retainher.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
