Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
