He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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