i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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