Where did you get a picture of my penis
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
