Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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