How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
