belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she smelled like a LAN party
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
