so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
