no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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