Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
