She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
