Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
