Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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