yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
