Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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