Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I came so hard my ears popped.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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