shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
