Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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