she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
