My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
