I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
