sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Boobs are out for the taking
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
