I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize