I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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