end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
