you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
