if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
