wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
