Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
