? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
