Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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